I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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