He is an equal opportunity slut.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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