You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
