Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
