I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
