The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
