This girl is more easily done than said...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
