Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
