tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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