Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
