That's intense
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
