dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
