Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
