It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
