just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My vagina is officially offended.
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