Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
