i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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