hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
