Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
