I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
