I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
