My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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