If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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