I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
