i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
