Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
