yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
