I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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