thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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