Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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