he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
