Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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