found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
