he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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