He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
