i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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