my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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