im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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