I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
