Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
