I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
