three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
