Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
