i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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