College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
