this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Watching her eat just hurts me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Who died my cat blue again?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
