sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
