she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
