i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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