it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Small penises have feelings too.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
